It's been a while...

since my last post. For a while there, I had nothing really to report. Parlay has had his good days and his bad days. On his good days, Parlay looks vibrant and happy-- you would never really know that anything was wrong with him--Unless you sat and counted the respiration.

Parlay's bad days are days with coughing, flared nostrils, irregular heartbeat and elevated respiration. They are coming with more regularity now.

Over the past couple of weeks, I realized that I cannot even measure the heart rate anymore. There is no rhythm left to it. My vet continues to be astounded that he is looking and doing as good as he is. I look at him one day and say, "this is going to pass," and then I look at him another and say, "Oh my God, I am going to loose him." The weirdest thing that I had to do this spring was to not pull a Coggins on him. There was no reason to--he isn't going anywhere-- a very sad revelation on my part.

I am still maintaining Parlay on Lasix--not daily, but when he seems to be pretty distressed. He hates it. I guess it makes him uncomfortable. The injection, the merciless uncontrollable peeing, the weird taste it must give to his food. I am not certain that it truly helps him anyway. There are days when he actually seems worse after an injection. Can't explain that.

I also give him a slew of "stuff." He gets Wendall's Herbs, "Respiration," Fat Cat, Cough Free Powder, Magnesium Oxide, Omega Oils, NeighLox and Ration Plus. He also still gets his CoQ10 and I am going to be calling in a prescription for Quinapril/Accupril today. I may actually go ahead and try the Digoxin and perhaps a Beta blocker or Angiotensin II (A-II) receptor blocker, such as losartan and valsartan--while these haven't been studied extensively in people with congestive heart failure, I like the idea that these don't have the same side effect of the persistent cough.

Why am I going to such lengths? I don't know. I guess my thought is that he should be as comfortable and prepared to face daily life as possible. Until he can't.

I still feed him his regular ration of about 4 lbs of 14% Nutrena Compete with about 1/4 lb of beet pulp added with water. I have been giving him lunch with some regularity, because he simply is not keeping weight on.

It's been quite a ride, I guess.

Meanwhile, I just keep myself busy and continue to spoil the crap out of him. I swear, Parlay is going to be orange inside from the amount of carrots he is consuming. And, he will probably not have any teeth left from the decay that the pounds of root beer barrels are causing! LOL!

I love my old man. I want to make him happy and comfortable and I hope that this goes easily--for him AND for me. So far he is continuing to be his stoic self; not really complaining and still the boss of my herd. I watch him carefully for any signs that he might be giving me, but as of now, he is mostly just Parlay--independent, bossy, cranky, pushy--It's his way. And I have to admit, I am happy to see it.

Thanks to Dean for setting up better lighting in my barn, I find myself standing in Parlay's stall at all hours of the night just stroking him and talking to him. You should SEE the bags under my eyes! I think he is bored with all the attention, but he tolerates it from me. It is always amazing to me to realize that animals just live in the moment. He certainly is not thinking that his life is coming to an end. I am sure that he sees this retirement with a bit of resentment and that I am offering all of the treats as a peace offering!

In all of my years of being around horses, I have never had to go through what I am about to. I understand all too well about life and death, yet I cannot seem to prepare myself--even with all of this time that God has allowed me to have. I am starting to go through the motions of preparations, but it is a surreal experience. Like a dream.

Sadly, every day, I realize that I miss him already. He is my partner and my friend and, while I will always have horses in my life, I cannot imagine that I will ever truly share the same type of bond that I have with my Poohbear.