Almost a year...

It's been almost a year since Parlay was diagnosed with Congestive Heart Failure. His death sentence postponed for quite a while, considering the grim prognosis of 3 to 6 months all those months ago.

It is still a balancing act every day with him. Parlay still eats sporadically, turning his nose up to things here and there and making me work at getting him fed and keeping him looking good.

I am constantly playing with the medication and nutraceuticals. Herbs and powders and all kinds of supplements. And Lasix. The life extending furosemide. Continually adjusting dosages and timing and number of shots daily...

It has been a challenging ride.

And, with the weather today, I take a step back and reminisce about how ugly it all was a year ago.

The weather has been just horrible. The heat index today was above 100 degrees and the reports are that it is going to stay like this for a few more days. Parlay is noticeably uncomfortable. It was going pretty well up until a few days ago.

Parlay has been struggling since July 4th. We had a bit of an "incident," here with my neighbors sending off fireworks above the horse paddock. All of the boys were dashing around a bit and it really through Parlay into a tailspin. Pulse and respiration were way up and have not really come down. The coughing is back with vigor. He has not eaten a full meal since that night, choosing instead to kind of pick at the food. I am not sure if the incident is the cause or the drastic weather is the culprit, but whatever it is, I have my hands full. Again.

Par has been on twice a day Lasix (7-8 mL per dose) for well over a week. Naturally, Lasix is in hot demand these days and pretty hard to find. I have had a couple of scares as I got to the wire waiting for it.

He is also getting Accupril (120 mg) once a day. I thought about taking him off of it, but my contact at Cornell says that it is probably helping more than I know. So, he stays on it.

He is getting Magnesium Oxide, an Omega 3 supplement, 2 different types of electrolytes and MSM. I have cut out all of the herbal remedies for the coughing--it didn't seem like they were doing enough and he was starting to snub them in the food.

He still gets CoQ10 and Hawthorne and Rescue Remedy. I am considering adding dandelion (an herbal diuretic) to see if I can use that to reduce the amount of Lasix again.

But now is not the time to be switching anything up. He has his hooves full trying to keep up with the thick air quality right now. Tonight I gave him a nebulizer treatment of Albuterol Sulfate. I haven't done that in quite a while and I am hoping that it gives him some relief.

It is 1:45 AM and I will probably go out and check on him again in a few minutes. Back to sleepless nights, it would appear.

As I become more woozy from the lack of sleep, I wonder if I will finally just bring him inside to the air conditioning...

NEXT!

So, the mouth thing came and went. Did the banamine and mush feedings and had the dentist out. The dentist looked all over and found nothing so worrisome, so I am going to leave Parlay alone for the moment. The Dentist says that he will do a good job next year. I loved the sound of that...next year...

=-)

Love my Dentist, Bill Schultz!!

Anyway, the weather has been mild and dry---great for a horse that has some breathing difficulties. The grass is coming up nicely and Parlay is enjoying eating it in front of the other boys. I think that I see him pointing his nose in their direction so that they can see him chewing. Meanie.

Parlay is shedding out nicely and actually looks pretty good. I would still like to see him up about 50 pounds, but I think that i have been saying that every year for the past 20+ years... LOL! Why should this year be any different??

So, Parlay is standing outside of my window, munching on grass and coughing lightly.

Bill says next year. I am hoping so...

It never ends

New development. Not a good one. Parlay has something wrong in his mouth. Not sure what, but he has stopped eating. He makes faces at me. Something is wrong.

Called the vet and the dentist. This is a horse that CANNOT miss a meal! The vet got back to me first, so I told her to come out. Naturally, we can't find anything that would be causing this reaction, per se.

The dentist will come in the next few days. CURSES!! In the meantime, banamine and mush. And Lasix. And Accupril. And all of the other stuff...

(sigh)

The things we do for love...

Notes to the vet

Thank God for my local vet and my not-so-local equine cardiologist. I cannot imagine how I would have gotten this far without them.

My local vet, Dr. Jenny Kimble, is so completely supportive and helpful. She listens to me when my voice is breaking. She hears me out on my thoughts about treatment plans and encourages me to keep trying. She is patient and kind and it means so much to me to have her on our team.

Thanks Dr. Jen.

And Dr. Sophy Jesty, from Cornell. I have never met this woman in person, but she has had so much impact on what I have done to keep Parlay here and in the best condition that I can. Dr. Jesty answers my emails, adds her incredible breadth of knowledge and input to my treatment plan for Parlay and asks for nothing in return. She is also supportive and thoughtful and sympathetic when needed.

Thanks to you too, Dr. Jesty.

I owe a lot to these strong women for the strength that they are lending me.

Especially now. It is getting harder. I know that the summer heat is going to be a true test for Parlay and I am bracing myself for the battle. I understand that he may not win this one. I watch. I pray. I continue to research and provide the best supportive care that I can.

I prepare.

I think that I am anyway. I see the "plot" area every day. I have a memorial stone. I washed his blanket and cleaned his personal leather halter. I have discussed *arrangements* with my excavator. I keep going through the motions so that when the inevitable happens, I won't be without a plan. A plan that could be enacted by anyone. Anyone other than me. Because when this fateful day arrives, and the terror of the unknown takes over, and the reality of loosing my best friend arrives, my cry will go up to God, but my family is going to have to take over.

The tears come more often. Like the fits of coughing. Like the increased respiration.

As the warm fuzzy nose rubs on my body and the soft brown eyes meet mine, we have our unspoken conversation every day. I find myself asking Parlay if he is doing okay. I ask him if I am doing okay. It seems like we silently stand and contemplate the next few hours. Par seems satisfied that all is well and walks off to check out the hay piles. I stand and watch him move away--assessing his condition and attitude and making sure that I am reading it all right.

And I pray. I pray every day. Several times a day. For a horse. Not just any horse. My horse. My friend. My trusted partner. My soul mate.

A piece of me is dying and it feels so heavy. It's the burden that every pet owner has to bear. Damn. It's the burden that anyone that has felt true love has to bear.

I hope that I can do this with dignity. For Parlay and for me.