New development. Not a good one. Parlay has something wrong in his mouth. Not sure what, but he has stopped eating. He makes faces at me. Something is wrong.
Called the vet and the dentist. This is a horse that CANNOT miss a meal! The vet got back to me first, so I told her to come out. Naturally, we can't find anything that would be causing this reaction, per se.
The dentist will come in the next few days. CURSES!! In the meantime, banamine and mush. And Lasix. And Accupril. And all of the other stuff...
(sigh)
The things we do for love...
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Notes to the vet
Thank God for my local vet and my not-so-local equine cardiologist. I cannot imagine how I would have gotten this far without them.
My local vet, Dr. Jenny Kimble, is so completely supportive and helpful. She listens to me when my voice is breaking. She hears me out on my thoughts about treatment plans and encourages me to keep trying. She is patient and kind and it means so much to me to have her on our team.
Thanks Dr. Jen.
And Dr. Sophy Jesty, from Cornell. I have never met this woman in person, but she has had so much impact on what I have done to keep Parlay here and in the best condition that I can. Dr. Jesty answers my emails, adds her incredible breadth of knowledge and input to my treatment plan for Parlay and asks for nothing in return. She is also supportive and thoughtful and sympathetic when needed.
Thanks to you too, Dr. Jesty.
I owe a lot to these strong women for the strength that they are lending me.
Especially now. It is getting harder. I know that the summer heat is going to be a true test for Parlay and I am bracing myself for the battle. I understand that he may not win this one. I watch. I pray. I continue to research and provide the best supportive care that I can.
I prepare.
I think that I am anyway. I see the "plot" area every day. I have a memorial stone. I washed his blanket and cleaned his personal leather halter. I have discussed *arrangements* with my excavator. I keep going through the motions so that when the inevitable happens, I won't be without a plan. A plan that could be enacted by anyone. Anyone other than me. Because when this fateful day arrives, and the terror of the unknown takes over, and the reality of loosing my best friend arrives, my cry will go up to God, but my family is going to have to take over.
The tears come more often. Like the fits of coughing. Like the increased respiration.
As the warm fuzzy nose rubs on my body and the soft brown eyes meet mine, we have our unspoken conversation every day. I find myself asking Parlay if he is doing okay. I ask him if I am doing okay. It seems like we silently stand and contemplate the next few hours. Par seems satisfied that all is well and walks off to check out the hay piles. I stand and watch him move away--assessing his condition and attitude and making sure that I am reading it all right.
And I pray. I pray every day. Several times a day. For a horse. Not just any horse. My horse. My friend. My trusted partner. My soul mate.
A piece of me is dying and it feels so heavy. It's the burden that every pet owner has to bear. Damn. It's the burden that anyone that has felt true love has to bear.
I hope that I can do this with dignity. For Parlay and for me.
My local vet, Dr. Jenny Kimble, is so completely supportive and helpful. She listens to me when my voice is breaking. She hears me out on my thoughts about treatment plans and encourages me to keep trying. She is patient and kind and it means so much to me to have her on our team.
Thanks Dr. Jen.
And Dr. Sophy Jesty, from Cornell. I have never met this woman in person, but she has had so much impact on what I have done to keep Parlay here and in the best condition that I can. Dr. Jesty answers my emails, adds her incredible breadth of knowledge and input to my treatment plan for Parlay and asks for nothing in return. She is also supportive and thoughtful and sympathetic when needed.
Thanks to you too, Dr. Jesty.
I owe a lot to these strong women for the strength that they are lending me.
Especially now. It is getting harder. I know that the summer heat is going to be a true test for Parlay and I am bracing myself for the battle. I understand that he may not win this one. I watch. I pray. I continue to research and provide the best supportive care that I can.
I prepare.
I think that I am anyway. I see the "plot" area every day. I have a memorial stone. I washed his blanket and cleaned his personal leather halter. I have discussed *arrangements* with my excavator. I keep going through the motions so that when the inevitable happens, I won't be without a plan. A plan that could be enacted by anyone. Anyone other than me. Because when this fateful day arrives, and the terror of the unknown takes over, and the reality of loosing my best friend arrives, my cry will go up to God, but my family is going to have to take over.
The tears come more often. Like the fits of coughing. Like the increased respiration.
As the warm fuzzy nose rubs on my body and the soft brown eyes meet mine, we have our unspoken conversation every day. I find myself asking Parlay if he is doing okay. I ask him if I am doing okay. It seems like we silently stand and contemplate the next few hours. Par seems satisfied that all is well and walks off to check out the hay piles. I stand and watch him move away--assessing his condition and attitude and making sure that I am reading it all right.
And I pray. I pray every day. Several times a day. For a horse. Not just any horse. My horse. My friend. My trusted partner. My soul mate.
A piece of me is dying and it feels so heavy. It's the burden that every pet owner has to bear. Damn. It's the burden that anyone that has felt true love has to bear.
I hope that I can do this with dignity. For Parlay and for me.
Monday, April 5, 2010
Day 5 of the Qunipril
Last week I added 120 mg of Quinipril (Accupril) to Parlay's menu of "stuff" to help him cope.
I can't say that I have seen a huge difference at this point, but am going to give it another week. He is still coughing pretty regularly, but doesn't seem particularly distressed. His respiration rate was at 32 bpm yesterday mid morning. Not overly high (since this whole mess began) and obviously not nearly normal.
The heart rate is a true mystery. I cringe when I check it. There is no rhythm at all. I don't bother counting anymore. I just check it to see if it seems any more regular or irregular and then stop. Otherwise, it just gives me something more to worry about. Who needs that?
Parlay is also shedding like crazy. I spend an inordinate amount of time grooming him (much to his chagrin) but he is starting to look pretty darn good for an old, dying horse! If you had asked my vet, back in the fall, if I would have been shedding Par out this spring, I am guessing the answer would have been no. Actually, I am not so sure that I believed that I would be shedding him out this spring. I guess that it is TRUELY a blessing and a curse! LOL!
I am still trying to get his weight up slightly, as his last episode in February really took it off. Although you can't really see the ribs unless you look closely, you sure can feel them. I am hoping that he doesn't look like a skeleton once all of the hair comes out.
So, for now, Parlay is still his sassy self. He savagely went after Q last night at dinner time (sigh) so he is obviously not ready to throw in the towel yet. More to come...
I can't say that I have seen a huge difference at this point, but am going to give it another week. He is still coughing pretty regularly, but doesn't seem particularly distressed. His respiration rate was at 32 bpm yesterday mid morning. Not overly high (since this whole mess began) and obviously not nearly normal.
The heart rate is a true mystery. I cringe when I check it. There is no rhythm at all. I don't bother counting anymore. I just check it to see if it seems any more regular or irregular and then stop. Otherwise, it just gives me something more to worry about. Who needs that?
Parlay is also shedding like crazy. I spend an inordinate amount of time grooming him (much to his chagrin) but he is starting to look pretty darn good for an old, dying horse! If you had asked my vet, back in the fall, if I would have been shedding Par out this spring, I am guessing the answer would have been no. Actually, I am not so sure that I believed that I would be shedding him out this spring. I guess that it is TRUELY a blessing and a curse! LOL!
I am still trying to get his weight up slightly, as his last episode in February really took it off. Although you can't really see the ribs unless you look closely, you sure can feel them. I am hoping that he doesn't look like a skeleton once all of the hair comes out.
So, for now, Parlay is still his sassy self. He savagely went after Q last night at dinner time (sigh) so he is obviously not ready to throw in the towel yet. More to come...
Friday, March 26, 2010
It's been a while...
since my last post. For a while there, I had nothing really to report. Parlay has had his good days and his bad days. On his good days, Parlay looks vibrant and happy-- you would never really know that anything was wrong with him--Unless you sat and counted the respiration.
Parlay's bad days are days with coughing, flared nostrils, irregular heartbeat and elevated respiration. They are coming with more regularity now.
Over the past couple of weeks, I realized that I cannot even measure the heart rate anymore. There is no rhythm left to it. My vet continues to be astounded that he is looking and doing as good as he is. I look at him one day and say, "this is going to pass," and then I look at him another and say, "Oh my God, I am going to loose him." The weirdest thing that I had to do this spring was to not pull a Coggins on him. There was no reason to--he isn't going anywhere-- a very sad revelation on my part.
I am still maintaining Parlay on Lasix--not daily, but when he seems to be pretty distressed. He hates it. I guess it makes him uncomfortable. The injection, the merciless uncontrollable peeing, the weird taste it must give to his food. I am not certain that it truly helps him anyway. There are days when he actually seems worse after an injection. Can't explain that.
I also give him a slew of "stuff." He gets Wendall's Herbs, "Respiration," Fat Cat, Cough Free Powder, Magnesium Oxide, Omega Oils, NeighLox and Ration Plus. He also still gets his CoQ10 and I am going to be calling in a prescription for Quinapril/Accupril today. I may actually go ahead and try the Digoxin and perhaps a Beta blocker or Angiotensin II (A-II) receptor blocker, such as losartan and valsartan--while these haven't been studied extensively in people with congestive heart failure, I like the idea that these don't have the same side effect of the persistent cough.
Why am I going to such lengths? I don't know. I guess my thought is that he should be as comfortable and prepared to face daily life as possible. Until he can't.
I still feed him his regular ration of about 4 lbs of 14% Nutrena Compete with about 1/4 lb of beet pulp added with water. I have been giving him lunch with some regularity, because he simply is not keeping weight on.
It's been quite a ride, I guess.
Meanwhile, I just keep myself busy and continue to spoil the crap out of him. I swear, Parlay is going to be orange inside from the amount of carrots he is consuming. And, he will probably not have any teeth left from the decay that the pounds of root beer barrels are causing! LOL!
I love my old man. I want to make him happy and comfortable and I hope that this goes easily--for him AND for me. So far he is continuing to be his stoic self; not really complaining and still the boss of my herd. I watch him carefully for any signs that he might be giving me, but as of now, he is mostly just Parlay--independent, bossy, cranky, pushy--It's his way. And I have to admit, I am happy to see it.
Thanks to Dean for setting up better lighting in my barn, I find myself standing in Parlay's stall at all hours of the night just stroking him and talking to him. You should SEE the bags under my eyes! I think he is bored with all the attention, but he tolerates it from me. It is always amazing to me to realize that animals just live in the moment. He certainly is not thinking that his life is coming to an end. I am sure that he sees this retirement with a bit of resentment and that I am offering all of the treats as a peace offering!
In all of my years of being around horses, I have never had to go through what I am about to. I understand all too well about life and death, yet I cannot seem to prepare myself--even with all of this time that God has allowed me to have. I am starting to go through the motions of preparations, but it is a surreal experience. Like a dream.
Sadly, every day, I realize that I miss him already. He is my partner and my friend and, while I will always have horses in my life, I cannot imagine that I will ever truly share the same type of bond that I have with my Poohbear.
Parlay's bad days are days with coughing, flared nostrils, irregular heartbeat and elevated respiration. They are coming with more regularity now.
Over the past couple of weeks, I realized that I cannot even measure the heart rate anymore. There is no rhythm left to it. My vet continues to be astounded that he is looking and doing as good as he is. I look at him one day and say, "this is going to pass," and then I look at him another and say, "Oh my God, I am going to loose him." The weirdest thing that I had to do this spring was to not pull a Coggins on him. There was no reason to--he isn't going anywhere-- a very sad revelation on my part.
I am still maintaining Parlay on Lasix--not daily, but when he seems to be pretty distressed. He hates it. I guess it makes him uncomfortable. The injection, the merciless uncontrollable peeing, the weird taste it must give to his food. I am not certain that it truly helps him anyway. There are days when he actually seems worse after an injection. Can't explain that.
I also give him a slew of "stuff." He gets Wendall's Herbs, "Respiration," Fat Cat, Cough Free Powder, Magnesium Oxide, Omega Oils, NeighLox and Ration Plus. He also still gets his CoQ10 and I am going to be calling in a prescription for Quinapril/Accupril today. I may actually go ahead and try the Digoxin and perhaps a Beta blocker or Angiotensin II (A-II) receptor blocker, such as losartan and valsartan--while these haven't been studied extensively in people with congestive heart failure, I like the idea that these don't have the same side effect of the persistent cough.
Why am I going to such lengths? I don't know. I guess my thought is that he should be as comfortable and prepared to face daily life as possible. Until he can't.
I still feed him his regular ration of about 4 lbs of 14% Nutrena Compete with about 1/4 lb of beet pulp added with water. I have been giving him lunch with some regularity, because he simply is not keeping weight on.
It's been quite a ride, I guess.
Meanwhile, I just keep myself busy and continue to spoil the crap out of him. I swear, Parlay is going to be orange inside from the amount of carrots he is consuming. And, he will probably not have any teeth left from the decay that the pounds of root beer barrels are causing! LOL!
I love my old man. I want to make him happy and comfortable and I hope that this goes easily--for him AND for me. So far he is continuing to be his stoic self; not really complaining and still the boss of my herd. I watch him carefully for any signs that he might be giving me, but as of now, he is mostly just Parlay--independent, bossy, cranky, pushy--It's his way. And I have to admit, I am happy to see it.
Thanks to Dean for setting up better lighting in my barn, I find myself standing in Parlay's stall at all hours of the night just stroking him and talking to him. You should SEE the bags under my eyes! I think he is bored with all the attention, but he tolerates it from me. It is always amazing to me to realize that animals just live in the moment. He certainly is not thinking that his life is coming to an end. I am sure that he sees this retirement with a bit of resentment and that I am offering all of the treats as a peace offering!
In all of my years of being around horses, I have never had to go through what I am about to. I understand all too well about life and death, yet I cannot seem to prepare myself--even with all of this time that God has allowed me to have. I am starting to go through the motions of preparations, but it is a surreal experience. Like a dream.
Sadly, every day, I realize that I miss him already. He is my partner and my friend and, while I will always have horses in my life, I cannot imagine that I will ever truly share the same type of bond that I have with my Poohbear.
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